"Home is where the heart is," goes the proverb.
The idea of "home" has become more elusive in the ever-expanding global village in which we now find ourselves. As someone who left my hometown of Killeen, Texas to go far, I have come to realize a basic truth: establishing a community abroad is more than just making friends; it's about creating a second home, a haven of compassion and common experiences.
As an American currently residing in Warsaw, Poland, I would like to share with you the knowledge I have acquired during a decade of travels abroad. In order for you to discover a means of feeling secure and less alone.
Embracing the Challenges: Being a Foreigner in a New Land
Relocating to a new nation is both thrilling and difficult. During the first few days, it's common to feel disconnected and alienated because everything is new to you—people, places, and cultures. It's simple to feel alienated and alone among people whose features and habits are foreign to you. Culture shock has an after-effect we later recognize, all the while still maintaining a controlled composure. The first steps to navigating the uncharted land takes lots of courage.
As an American - I have noticed most of our citizens don't travel as much as you assume. So I have never found sanctuary in an American community abroad. Very few of my colleagues and best friends are American born
The language is a mystery, the streets seem foreign, and the subtle cultural differences resemble a code that must be cracked. The lack of known faces during this initial phase exacerbates the feeling of loneliness. The best advice - go outside and embrace the city/town quietly and alone for a little while. The “shock” of being in a new reality will wear off eventually.
Loneliness becomes a silent companion, and the comfort of 'home' appears to be a distant memory. In these moments of solitude, the importance of creating connections becomes not just a desire but a fundamental need for emotional survival. I never understood before why people would move to another country only to stay around those from their country. Later I realized that it's the safety of familiarity they need to survive the new environment.
'Home' seems like a faraway memory, and loneliness becomes a silent companion. Making relationships during these times of isolation becomes essential for emotional survival, not merely something we want.
Discovering Common Ground: Feeling Like an Outsider Until You Meet Other Outsiders
A group of people with a similar story offers a ray of optimism amidst the difficulties. It can be a life-changing event to meet other outsiders, people who have also set out on the road of establishing themselves in a foreign place.
"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken."
Fyodor Dostoevsky
Shared Struggles, Strengths & Interest as Bridges
Meeting other outsiders and learning about our common hardships is beautiful. These people grow to be invaluable sources of support and knowledge, whether it's negotiating bureaucratic labyrinths or picking up the local slang. You both giggle at the linguistic blunders and work your way through the complex residency procedures.
Music, culture, nightlife amongst other things have been the best connections outside of language, religion and gender for my tribe and I. It's a neutral zone of experience that allows us to be ourselves and appreciate one another's differences as something special to the tribe.
Sharing hobbies is a great approach to help people feel more at home and less like strangers. Common interests serve as the links that unite people, whether they be a love of a particular food, a similar hobby, or an intense enthusiasm for photography.
ATTENTION : I ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET OFF THE PHONE OR INTERNET EXPECTING TO MAKE GENUINE CONNECTIONS - I WARN THOSE IN A VULNERABLE STAGE IN THEIR LIFE TO BE AWARE OF SOMETHING CALLED “TRAUMA BONDING.”
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. With that I will allow you to dive deeper in your own time to understand this. Let's move on
Creating a Mosaic of Diversity
Outsiders often bring with them a rich tapestry of diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and experiences. In the melting pot of cultures, a new community is formed—one that doesn't replace the 'home' you left behind but becomes an equally valuable part of your journey.
“There are no strangers here, only friends you haven't yet met”
William Butler Yeats
The Transformative Power of Community: From Strangers to Family
Something wonderful occurs as the network of links grows: strangers become acquaintances, and acquaintances become friends. This community develops into a second home over time, where you are welcomed and not just accepted. I usually say to people I know, “I don't have friends because the “end” after the weekend” - FRI = FRIDAY + END as in WEEKEND haha maybe it's just my creative mind that enjoys this allegory.
I grew up in a household where church, community, to our neighbors somehow those bonds became family oriented. Whether blood related or not. Most of the people I have a strong connection with over time, I consider family. We grow together, eat together, and hold a place in our hearts to be there when we can.
Here are some things I feel could ensure you to bring something valuable to those relationships at an early stage. Giving you genuine access to people's best versions of themselves.
Number #1 : Assistance when Needed
A strong community provides a safety net for people in need, whether they are experiencing medical difficulties or the emotional ups and downs of homesickness. Feeling cared for vs alone might be determined by having this support system. Trust me when I say giving rather than taking more than ever brings people to you that could open new doors in your life. Also as I mentioned before, that extended hand proves some sort of value in your circle of trust.
To me - trust is the MOST valuable part of any relationship that should take time to establish.
The second is respect, but I digress.
Number #2 : Celebrate Diversity
The richness of a community lies in its diversity. A diverse society celebrates differences via ethnic festivals and the sharing of traditional foods, creating an atmosphere where everyone feels appreciated. Trying new foods, listening to other music tastes or even listening to them speak in their native language can bring a rich sensation to all humans. It is the living proof that in some way, somehow we are all connected. So celebrate with them - go to an event that you have no idea what it's about and ask honest questions. Show genuine interest, and I promise you - they will appreciate that effort from you.
Number #3 : Bridging the Gap: Balancing Roots and Wings
It is not necessary to give up one's roots in order to establish a second home abroad.
Rather, it's a careful balancing act between clinging to your cultural identity and welcoming any new experiences that present themselves.
A vibrant global community provides a special setting for cross-cultural interaction. Regular events like language classes, traditional music sessions, and food exchanges foster a culture in which everyone is both a teacher and a student.
In this second home, unity is found not in homogeneity but in diversity. It's a celebration of the mosaic of cultures that come together to form a harmonious whole.
Conclusion: Building Bridges Beyond Borders
Our relationships are the threads that weave a story that transcends geography in the vast tapestry of life. Having been a foreigner myself once, I've discovered that creating a community abroad is more than just making friends; it's about finding a second home, a place where people celebrate differences and recognize that all people have similar experiences.
You know what I started to do after some years here - I began hosting my very own events. Such as Poetry & Wine. Where like minded hearts and souls gather to share literature and personal poems. 5 or more languages have been expressed on the stage. After 3 years of events, our community continues to grow and prosper with healing and elegance
Another was SHOWTIME! An Open mic event my team and I fostered for local international talent. We saw that there was nowhere for artists to come together and network or perform - so we organized that opportunity for them to grow and flourish.
I love connecting people just as much as I love creating things that bring people together.
So, to all of you fellow travelers, never forget that home isn't simply a location on a map—it's the people you meet, the things you laugh at, and the experiences you share that truly make any place on earth feel like home. We not only find comfort in forming relationships across boundaries, but we also add to a global fabric that embraces diversity and unity.
Building connections beyond borders isn't just about finding friends; it's about discovering a second home—a place where differences are celebrated, and the shared human experience transcends nationalities.
If you are interested in community events I host in Warsaw, feel free to connect and stay in touch.
Bless
留言